In my prayers this morning i had an over whelming feeling to share that day from my point of view with everyone and share the Lords hand in it.
From the beginning: That Wednesday night Stephen had come over to my house and made me dinner. He loved to spoil me. We sat on the couch and watched NCIS until almost 1 in the morning when he suddenly decided to go home. He would often stay the night on my couch when he had the following day off, so i still don't like that i let him go home that night but i cannot change it. Before leaving he stood in my door way and held me and told me he was happy to be marrying the most beautiful woman in the world. I laughed and told him he was crazy, pulled his red hat down over his eyes and kissed him (a moment i will always cherish). He left.
He got home and called me to let me know he was home safe. We had a disagreement because he wanted to be spontaneous and go to the beach that day, and i told him no we needed to go to his doctors appointment. He finally gave in and agreed, he told me he would go to the gym in the morning and call me when he was home again. I then went to sleep.
I woke up around 9am on May 27 with a headache. I checked my phone and had no missed calls or messages so i went ahead and took some medicine and laid down again. I woke up at 12:06pm with a feeling of Stephen holding me and slowly shaking me awake. I remember waking up thinking that was weird and getting scared because something felt off. I called his phone with no answer. I figured he had gotten a late start to the gym, so i went to eat some food and watch a little TV to wait for his call. i remember the entire time having a weird feeling that something was just off and i couldn't put my finger on it. Finally around 330 i got up the nerve to call his house, i never like calling his house. I apologize to this day because by doing so his step-mom found him. At this point i still did not know what had happened, i froze! i called my mom at work and told her something was wrong, and she left right away to get my dad and come home. I went to my car to drive over to Stephens, but couldn't stop shaking to put the key in the ignition. It was the longest hour alone of my life!!! i called Marc hoping Bonnie and him were home. Being the amazing friend that he is, he tried to calm me down and be logical. He had been driving on Alessandro and immediately turned to go to Stephens home. I could not get up the courage to call Stephens house again. Finally around 445pm my parents came home and i knew. Marc then arrived at my house and confirmed that my love was gone forever. I sat on my porch forever cause i could not go inside and look at the couch where we had just sat the night before.
Pastor Sammy and Ivette arrived soon after and nobody knew what to say. they just held me and let me scream and cry and i actually kicked my dad. I remembered a voice in my head (GOD!) telling me i needed prayer so i texted (sorry) Misty and Shasta, i couldn't say what had happened, i just said Stephen passed away. Of coarse they called as soon as they could. Its hard to remember who i talked to that day and who i rejected (sorry if you're the later) from then on its a blur. i know Pastor John and Robin came over. i know we put sandlot on to have some background noise. and i know Marc and Bonnie did not leave my side.
NOW FOR GODS HAND IN IT :D
1. I had gotten into the habit of not sleeping past 9am, i didn't want to waste my days. I now see it as God gave me that headache and had me sleep longer because i would not sleep for days after that.
2. I never eat when i wake up, it usually makes me nauseous. Again the Lord knew i wouldn't eat for days so He made sure i ate something before.
3. I would often just drive over to Stephens house when he was off, he never did anything without me. I didn't, and am i so glad I did not find him.
4. Mt parents being county workers had that following Monday off, and my mom being on furlows had Friday off. I did not have to be alone for a long while.
5. Marc and Bonnie were driving on Alessandro.... one main street away from Stephens house!
6. I physically couldnt drive over there after calling.
I am sure there are many more ways God had his hand in it but i am so grateful for those! My God is great, and i thank Him daily for just one more day of strength from Him. God Bless and thank you for everyone who has been there for me!
