October 13, 2009

The time between the end of September and October 13 seemed to last forever! Stephen and I were constantly arguing about whether or not we should be together! He kept telling me that his longest relationship was 9 months and he didn't want to hurt me, and he felt he would in the end. He has always told me he thought I deserve better; I never wanted anything more than him. I kept telling him he was worth the risk, and I just wanted a chance!
I even went as far as talking to Brandon and asking him what i should do; give up or keep trying. His advice was "These things work themselves out".... what kind of advice is that? lol Turned out to be good advice since he went and talked to Stephen and encouraged him not to worry about dating someone from work! Thanks B!
Finally October 10 while we were at work i got Stephen to agree to go to church with me. :D He was suppose to go to Sandals with me, and then go to lunch after. Well he showed up for church, but then ditched me to go watch football with Steph at Wingstop! Even tho he ditched me he spent the day texting me lol (sounds about right, right?) Well i made him feel bad enough that he agreed to hangout on our day off.
He called me Monday morning and asked what i wanted to do. Me just wanting to spend time with him, said "I don't care." So he offered to come over to my house, and i was quick to say no! Anyone who has been to my house understands why id say no when trying to impress a guy. lol He then invited me over... EEKK! The bosses house?! ARE YOU CRAZY?! lol Well finally i gave in and went over to watch football. I knew nothing about football, i still don't! I was the girl asking how the yellow moves so fast... He thought that was hilarious and preceded to tell Gordon and Jamie so that they could laugh at me also.
After Monday night football was over Stephen was hungry, and invited me to go get food with him. We got all the way out to the garage and he decided he was tired and didn't want to go get food anymore. Come to find out later he got nervous and didn't want to mess things up by not having anything more to talk to me about. I preceded to head home and went through Jack in the Box drive thru. As i come out there goes Stephen speeding by. I called him and told him to slow down, of coarse he tried to act stupid and not know why i was telling him to slow down. Needless to say we spent the night talking about anything and everything. :D
We went into work on Tuesday and Elaine knew something was up because i could not stop smiling for anything! He made me so unbelievably happy! We spent all day looking at each other and texting and just being happy! At some point i complained that my neck hurt and he offerred to massage it for me. I told him "that means you have to touch me and see me outside of work again" lol so he invited me to go over and watch a movie.
Tuesday October 13 2009 :D I had church that night so i went over after church. He decided to watch Biggest Loser, which became our show to watch together. I was tired so i laid on the couch with my head close to his lap. He took his time slowly getting closer and closer before he actually held my hand and pulled me into his lap. After Biggest Loser was over i was still sitting on his lap and Jamie walked in; he freaked out! He was big on keeping us hanging out and where we were going a big secret, so he asked if we could go into his room so that no one could see us and tell people. lol
I went with him and we stayed up all night talking and laughing and crying. By the end of the night he asked me "to be his girl" and gave me our first kiss! Luckily he was off that Wednesday so he could sleep in, I on the other hand went into work and stayed awake only because i kept thinking about him and his kiss! :D

September 2009

Stephen and I had worked together at Quaid Harley Davidson since April 24, 2007 and we had grown into being friends. He would constantly come sit at my desk (receptionist desk), against his uncles rules, and just talk to me. He would listen to anything and everything I was going through. This is where I heard stories about Steph and her puppies, about knocking out his front teeth, about his brothers and many other things.
Stephen had gotten really bad about remembering what time he worked at (its either 830 or 10... not too complicated) so he would call the shop almost every morning so that I could tell him when to come in. So I got into the habit of looking at his schedule every night so that I could tell him before I left. This went on for the entire time I worked for the Quad's.
Well on September 7, 2009 I had been house sitting for a friend in Riverside and for some reason while driving home I kept thinking of Stephen... so I simply sent a text to say hi. He replied and we ended up talking all night about nothing. The next day at work he asked me why I randomly said hi and I had no reason. I later found out he was surprised and suspicious but was glad I texted.
We went on like this for the next month (well there's not a day we didn't text each other but this was before we became official lol). On the night of September 28 (a Monday) we had been talking and Stephen texted me with "Something I have never told you is: i kinda like you." I was ecstatic for about 3 minutes! I replied with "Well I kinda like you too" and he crushed it all with "I think we shouldn't talk anymore since we work together." I was so embarrassed, i finally opened up and told him my feelings and our feelings were mutual but were not going to be allowed to go anywhere! I called in sick that Tuesday (sorry Elaine) because I did not want to face him! That Tuesday Stephen "forgot" his phone at home so I did not hear from him at all; I spent the day thinking about whether or not I should pursue this guy or not! Nothing a spa day didn't fix! :D I got home that night and had a few missed text from Stephen (once he got home he texted) and I knew he was worth my time, I knew I could love him!

Taking each moment as it comes

None of this was ever expected. Nobody saw it coming. Nobody is to blaim. I am trying to take each day as it comes. Today was not a bad day, but not a good day either. I have no energy to do anything at all. I went running yesterday and i have not been able to cry since; i want to but i just cant.
So the point of this... I started to write my thoughts and memories down on paper but then i was told that i should share them... So that is what i am going to try to do. I dont know how long it will take and how much i can handle.
Thank you all for all the support and prayers.